The critic on my left twitched so much during Burlesque , I thought she was having a seizure. The one on my right bolted for the door early. As for me, I just had one question: when tin can I run across it again?

Sorry, Harry Potter , but Caricatural is the result of the holiday flavour, like the drunkard aunt who shows upwards belatedly to Thanksgiving dinner and falls into your mashed potatoes. The interim is virtually nonexistent—Cher's face tin't motion because of Botox, and Christina Aguilera'southward moves even less (she tin can't emote). The audience I saw it with laughed at the serious lines, and I could hear crickets during the jokes. But Burlesque is so bad that information technology'due south skilful: over-the-top, ridiculous fun. As with a Taylor Swift concert or a stick of Velveeta, you lot can't resist the cheese.

Afterward the trailer was unveiled last summer, the blogosphere started salivating at the idea that Burlesque was the next Showgirls. It'due south not. Beginning of all, Aguilera is no Elizabeth Berkley. Second, in that location are no poles involved. Burlesque's "story" feels more similar a campy pastiche of other popular films of the terminal decade. Here's the formula to its success, a combination of:

i. Coyote Ugly . Aguilera steps into the Piper Perabo part as a struggling waitress who just wants to trip the light fantastic toe. When she finally gets her American Idol moment, she becomes an overnight sensation and starts sleeping with her beefcake bartender (Cam Gigandet from Twilight).

ii. The Devil Wears Prada. Oomph! Success is then hard when you're a young girl entering the workforce. Fortunately, Stanley Tucci is there to save the mean solar day. He plays the gay sidekick who helps navigate treacherous waters by offering way advice. In this case, it'southward not Miranda Priestly that our heroine must worry about. It'due south a far more than eccentric diva: Cher.

3. Moulin Rouge! The burlesque club that Cher's character owns is in Los Angeles, but what'southward a pocket-size detail similar geography when you accept Baz Luhrmann to rip off? Inside her social club, all the furniture and phase look strictly Paris (and Strictly Ballroom). In an opening number, i of the showgirls fifty-fifty sings the staple that Nicole Kidman put on every tween's iPod: "Diamonds Are a Girl'due south Best Friend."

4. Twilight. The message of Burlesque is that Cher, like Edward Cullen, is a nocturnal creature who will never, ever die, so we might equally well requite up and let her bite us. During her big musical sequence, "Y'all Haven't Seen the Last of Me," she even shimmers in the same style equally a Stephenie Meyer vampire. Credit the glittery lips, eyelids, tank top, shoes, and belt. Notice: no wrinkles.

5. Wall Street: Coin Never Sleeps. Caricatural is not just a film about trip the light fantastic toe; information technology also speaks to our hard economic times. Cher is on the verge of losing her club because she'due south so behind on payments. She'south torn: does she effort to sell to McSteamy, or hope she can scrounge together enough money for the banking company? This is a dilemma that not even Suze Orman could solve.

6. The Burlesque dialogue, its best part. Hither's a sample:
"Push upwards these boobs. You've got them—show them!"
"Then you're not here to use my phone?"
"Hey, Jack, I'thou really glad I don't have to be alone this night."
"My thong is up my butt."
"When you are painting on makeup, you lot are like an artist, but instead of painting a canvas, you lot're painting a confront."
"How many times have I held your head to a higher place the toilet while you lost everything simply your memories?"

SETOODEH is a senior author at NEWSWEEK who covers movies and pop civilization. Follow him on Twitter.